July 19, 2005
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Rose
"In the winter, far beneath the bitter snow, lies the seed that with the sun's love, in the spring becomes the Rose"
I sit here today once again wiser. My friend of 6 years came over from the islands. Its been such an awakening. Keoni and I are two peas in a pod. We believe that true love exist and that there is someone for everyone in this world. Somewhere along the way I stopped believing that. I just got sick of the lies and the games and the hurt that came with that expectation, with that risk! Keoni stayed believing, despite the pain and the could be, and if onlys' I've only had two hours sleep staying awake with him and the rest of Reno, yet in my mind one thing is clear, between the two of us Keoni is right, he never stopped believing, hoping and its true, faith will take you a long way.
How many times does your heart need to be broken before you stop trying? How many times do you need to pick up the broken pieces before you decide to super glue the door shut? How long must you wait before you stand up and walk away? I found what I thought was the answer a long time ago. I sometimes think my standards are too high. Maybe I am just as superficial as the morons I sometime insult, but I have loved even those my friends mock. Am I being honest to myself? If I met a man who I knew would love me with all his heart, passionate and kind, with intellect far more than most, yet he didn't fit the picture I painted of the perfect man for me, would I really love him? Would I allow my heart to just be blind? If he was all I could ever wish for albeit one point, would I give it a chance? Would you?
I deem myself complete. I learned that lesson a long time ago. I searched my heart and soul to find out who I really am, and slowly I began to realize I was pretty cool, and being alone with myself wasn't bad. I see my friends grieve over another man or woman and it re-affirms my belief not to try anymore, but then someone like Keoni comes along and I question which of the two of us is right? His heart remains hopeful, always open, and it seems forever longing to find the one. That is his greatest asset, his heart is still pure. He thinks he is gullible, and I used to think the same of myself, but in retrospect he is wiser than most, he has learned the true art of love. To never give up and to believe, truly believe that out there in that vast space, far beyond the horizon and sometimes just sitting on a bench with you, lies the one you've always longed for.
"Imagine finding a Diamond on the road, you are so happy to begin with, then you get into your car and place the diamond on your shirt pocket, you know the Diamond is yours now, so you're happy and you think about all the things you can do now that you have it, you can show this diamond off to your friends, they would be envious for sure, right? Time passes and you get the diamond made into a ring to put on your finger, you mould it to suit you. More time passes and the diamond begins to lose it luster, it's novelty, its always there, so predictable, always shiny, always on your finger, not as exciting as before, plus you just saw another Diamond not so long ago, and that one was more beautiful it was better, and so you start thinking that maybe you would be happier with that new diamond. So you get rid of the previous one, and get the new diamond. Tell me why I should feel sorry for the diamond? It will stay precious no matter what, it will still shine, and it will still glow, and no matter how many times its cut, it is still a Diamond, and one day that Diamond will find someone who will see its real value, its true worth, and treasure it how its suppose to be treasured. When a diamond is cut, it is to prepare it for a purpose. Always!.
Thank you for reminding me that like Diamonds we continue to shine and being cut is one of the process that leads to our ultimate purpose in life. May you find the one to lead you to your 8:30 appointment To your destiny. Aloha wau i'a oe Keoni. To our friendship, and to forever, thank you for you gift of wisdom. I will see you soon on the island. I will bring it home.
Comments (6)
You have always had the wisdom it is before you...
Haha... Look what I wrote... You must find me on AIM, I have lots of new stories to tell you. LoL.
http://www.xanga.com/item.aspx?user=kingman18&tab=weblogs&uid=307393324
No matter how hurt we are from relationships in the past, we always shine through with a smile. You remember what kind of relationship I used to be in.....well look at me now. You are stronger then you give yourself credit for and you have a beautiful soul. No matter what you go through, just remember that you'll always turn out alright! I love you like a sister and don't ever forget that! I will always be here for you!
You are strong and your posts give me a view of how strong I can be.
when it comes talking about heart affairs, many things can happen....
...you could have your heart shatterded to pieces, and never been able to put it back for one single love.....
...or you can pick up the pieces and solve the puzzle every time a love ends....
....or you can just arrive at a level of ''enough is enough''....
...or you can think about ''this is the last time i get hurt'', and ban love from your heart.....
...or change idea in a sudden moment......
...you can live love as an exclusive relationship with your partner....
...or share your love with your friends....
...no matter how do you want to live love - or the lack of it -, the best thing you can do is live your life peacefully and without regret, only living well you can find YOUR personal answer....
You hit it on the nail Z ! That Love is out there and it's real as can be. We are scared of just how real it is often times. But we should never let that deter us form enjoying all it has to offer. And it's perfectly ok to live and learn that is exactly what we are suppose to do. So ur opinion smay have been damaged for a time and maybe you did think for a period it wasn't gonna hapen. But you had a light show you the truth now all u have to do is get up wipe the dirt off and follow the light again. I can tell you as someone who once thought it wouldn't happen to him, only to be knocked right on my feet my senior year of HS. So u can think it's not there but that wont stop it from knockin you out when u least expect it and allowing you to enjoy the ride
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