June 1, 2005

• Again

  
  
  

  Its been  more than a month, how time seems to fly by, so much has happened.  Friends have come and gone, and the ones that are worth keeping showed themselves.  You will know who your real friends are when things go wrong and they stay beside you.  I am blessed in every sense of the word.  I have a mother who understands and accepts me no matter what.  I have a sister who supports me no matter what happens, and cares for me in ways I am only just realizing.  I have a daughter who loves me like I have never been loved before.  I have friends here and all over the world that I can call on to help me or just be there to listen if I need to talk to someone.  In less than two months I will turn 30 and people ask me if I feel old or if I feel like my twenties was ill spent.  I feel the same as before, except now I'm wiser.  I am still the same girl that used to climb trees, just to get fresh fruits, and still the same woman striving to learn, to be better, to be a good mother.  I am still me.  After every mistake and every heartache, every single pain and obstacle.  I got through. 

  
  

  I spend a lot of time listening to VH1 Soul and hence this song, listening to Faith Evans sing this song, made me reflect on my life.  If I had a chance to do it all again, would I make it easier, would I take away the abuse, the bullying, getting beaten up?  Would I avoid the broken hearts and hold off on the pain?  I realized that even though things were hard and there were times when I felt I would not be able to cope.  I wouldn't change a thing, because with every fall was a renewed strength to get up and keep walking tall.  With every pain I was blessed with bliss in the joy that my daughter has given me day after day.  With every hurt was an assuring touch from those whom I love and who love me.  I would not change a thing, because I would not be where I am now if it wasn't for my past.  We are a product of those who sorround us and the circumstances that shape us. It is up to us what kind of product we want to be?  There is always a choice even when its not obvious.  We make our decisions and we have to live our lives as best we can for only then will we fulfill our destiny.

  
  

  I would do it all again. The only thing I would change is my attitude towards it all.  If given the chance next time around I will be smiling through it all, because no matter what no one can take that away from you.  Smile, dust your shoulders off and walk tall.  You are god's gift to this world, we all are and if you really are true to yourself you would realize just how amazing you really are.

  
  

  Just to show that I haven't been sitting on my butt all month.  I will share with all of you what I have been working on all this time

  
  

  First off the NEW zeliah dot com, as you can see on the picture above.  It took months to put together and I wanted to launch it on my birthday July 14, kind of a birthday present to myself I guess.  More on that as it progresses, for now you will be able to see the mock version by clicking the image above.

  
  

  Next is Optimum Designs which is also due to launch in August, this has been a year long dream of mine.  A Web Design company that came about from the many web sites that I created during my online volunteer project with Volunteer Match. 

  
  
  

  I spent the whole month decorating also, but those pictures will have to wait till next time.  Here is a sneak preview though

  
  
  

  And finally the reason why I would do it all again is none other than my baby girl. Although she is growing up so fast, she will always be my baby.

  
  
  
  

  Would you do it all again if you had the chance?

  • 7:50 pm
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